This few days in school, I am very moody and sad…
Last thursday… In class, suddenly I was crying…
I really do not know what and why the reason …
I just know that I cried non stop…
I t started crying and stops for awhile and continues to cry again…
Something Just like raining… Raindrops falling in the sky…
Maybe I cried is because that my result…
Or maybe is about my relationship (with now)…
You may always see that I laugh much in the class…
But actually sometimes I am heart broken…
And as for me, I am a emotional person… Thats why I easily will be end up crying …
My friends said this too…
Crying For the examinations…
I still remember that when I was standard 1, my parents always tell me…
1. Just try your best in your exam…
2. You must study hard… to EXCEL in your future…
3. Pull your socks up…
4. Turn into a new leaf…
5. Don’t be lazy…
6. Don’t everyday / always / the whole day… watch TV, read comic books/
storybooks, playing, using the hp, using the pc, listening to music… More and
more…
I would wan to say that I got study for my exam… Got try my best…
But I really do not know why from form 1 until now,
Most of my result is below 50 marks…
Although sometime, my results have improved…
But for my dad, fail is fail… Just like that… For him, if I passed my result, it only means pass…
Am I a stupid person? or Am I useless?
Why my marks can’t go up? Why?!
I may have always broken my parent’s heart… They may be very upset that why they had such a child like this…
I know that I am very important, because I am the only child in my family and next time it will be only me that I have to pay back…
And If I don’t have a good and steady job in the future, how can I take care of them…
And that that time, I would have many pressures…
Not like those who have other siblings…
They can share their money to pay back their deeds…
I also do not always and everyday watch TV, read comic books/ storybooks, playing, using the hp, pc and listening to music …
But I really do not know why my dad would like to use the 3 phase of words “always, everyday, the whole day”…
Actually I just watch a Singaporean movie for just 1 hour for everyday…
But sometimes is more then that la…
Sometimes I will use the pc, and while I am using, I will turn on the music… and listens to the radio everyday in the car only…
Reading comic book… When I go to Qbm, I only will buy it and read it…
He said that on school days… I cannot read the comic books… He allows me to read on the school holidays nai…
Is that possible? How can? Like there is no freedom for me…
Just like I have to do what he had order to…
For My father, he fells that study is the most important!! He has very high expectations in studies too… That why he is strict…
Actually I am very sorry!! I hope that you understand my feelings… Maybe I am born with don’t have the study interests…
Crying for the relationship…
I still remember this incident had happen a few months ago…
It was about June or July…
My parents found out that I have a boyfriend…
As for them, I am always a little child in their eyes…
They took me to ask my hp away and just throw it and match it…
And I just like that don’t have a hp to use… Don’t have internet to use…
Moreover…
I know that they are afraid that I will be like the child run away with their boyfriend…Or anything else…
But I promise that I won’t be so stupid or silly to do this kind of thing…
Well… Finish! The end of the story!!
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